A Letter to Santa From An Internet Marketer
Halstatt Pires
A Letter to Santa From An Internet Marketer
Yo, Santa! How's it going in the great white north? Seeing as it
tis' the season, here is my letter about what I want for
Christmas.
Been Good
Santa, I know you do that whole good versus bad thing. I promise
I've been a good internet marketer this year. I haven't spammed
the search engines with mirror sites, link farm purchases or
little tricks to tweak your friends at Google. Now, while I've
been good, I would like a few bad things for Christmas. No
ponies here, I want the good stuff.
Dear Santa, I want:
1. A lump of coal to be given to the bad person or persons at
Yahoo who've been deleting my pages from their search engine
results.
2. A lump of coal to the same people at Yahoo who came up with
the Site Match nonsense. Feel free to let the reindeer relieve
themselves while on the roofs of these peoples' homes.
3. To meet a person from Google who handles the ranking updates
in a bar late at night after they've been drinking for four or
five hours. I only need 15 minutes. Pleeeeasssee! I've been so
good.
4. Five minutes in the Ultimate Fighting Octagon with Bill Gates.
5. A few hours with your list of bad people who will get coal
for the holidays. Don't worry, I can figure out which ones are
fraudulently clicking my PPC ads.
6. Please send the Santa virus to the people who keep sending me
the phishing Pay Pal emails.
7. Same thing for the bad boys and girls sending me
pharmaceutical spam.
8. The opportunity to beat each dmoz volunteer editor over the
head with my keyboard just once. Okay, maybe twice.
Now I realize you are a master of being subtle. When I visited
you at the mall, you acted like I was a lunatic and you didn't
know what I was talking about. I really didn't appreciate you
calling security and the FBI, but I guess everybody has a bad
day. I'm sure I can count on you to come through this year.
Oh, I forgot something. Angelina Jolie. Definitely Angelina
Jolie. Leave her short dork boyfriend at home.
Now that isn't much to ask is it? Is it?
About the author:
Halstatt Pires is a search engine optimization specialist with
http://www.marketingtitan.com - an Internet marketing and
advertising company in San Diego offering internet marketing
services such as meta tag optimization services and link
popularity services.
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